My 1st Poem...

A Typical School Day

Once I had a really horrible teacher

He dunk our worksheets into pots full of glitter

When we received them they were sticky and shiny

And none of us could do even a tiny bitty

When we could not do them he got really angry

And went around hitting people randomly

He hit the students, he hit the staff and he hit the Principal

One day, he hit his own head and was sent to the hospital

Oh what a tragedy, oh what a tragedy

Our mean teacher had to go for surgery

We sent him chocolate, we sent him flowers (and we sent him poison too)

And I believe that when we say we want him to stay, we also speak for you!

However, our hope were dashed

Our teacher recovered in a flash

He bound into the classroom, stretched to his full height

Took a deep breath and bellowed,"Ha ha, I'm alright!"

But it was not to be

His health, soon did it flee

And according to the doctor's reading

He died of severe food poisoning!

My Favorite Poem & how the author uses figurative language

Television By Roald Dahl

The most important thing we've learned, So far as children are concerned, Is never, NEVER, NEVER let Them near your television set -- Or better still, just don't install The idiotic thing at all. In almost every house we've been, We've watched them gaping at the screen. They loll and slop and lounge about, And stare until their eyes pop out. (Last week in someone's place we saw A dozen eyeballs on the floor.) They sit and stare and stare and sit Until they're hypnotised by it, Until they're absolutely drunk With all that shocking ghastly junk. Oh yes, we know it keeps them still, They don't climb out the window sill, They never fight or kick or punch, They leave you free to cook the lunch And wash the dishes in the sink -- But did you ever stop to think, To wonder just exactly what This does to your beloved tot? IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD! IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD! IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND! IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND! HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE! HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE! HE CANNOT THINK -- HE ONLY SEES! 'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say, 'But if we take the set away, What shall we do to entertain Our darling children? Please explain!' We'll answer this by asking you, 'What used the darling ones to do? 'How used they keep themselves contented Before this monster was invented?' Have you forgotten? Don't you know? We'll say it very loud and slow: THEY ... USED ... TO ... READ! They'd READ and READ, AND READ and READ, and then proceed To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks! One half their lives was reading books! The nursery shelves held books galore! Books cluttered up the nursery floor! And in the bedroom, by the bed, More books were waiting to be read! Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales And treasure isles, and distant shores Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars, And pirates wearing purple pants, And sailing ships and elephants, And cannibals crouching 'round the pot, Stirring away at something hot. (It smells so good, what can it be? Good gracious, it's Penelope.) The younger ones had Beatrix Potter With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter, And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland, And Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and- Just How The Camel Got His Hump, And How the Monkey Lost His Rump, And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul, There's Mr. Rate and Mr. Mole- Oh, books, what books they used to know, Those children living long ago! So please, oh please, we beg, we pray, Go throw your TV set away, And in its place you can install A lovely bookshelf on the wall. Then fill the shelves with lots of books, Ignoring all the dirty looks, The screams and yells, the bites and kicks, And children hitting you with sticks- Fear not, because we promise you That, in about a week or two Of having nothing else to do, They'll now begin to feel the need Of having something to read. And once they start -- oh boy, oh boy! You watch the slowly growing joy That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen They'll wonder what they'd ever seen In that ridiculous machine, That nauseating, foul, unclean, Repulsive television screen! And later, each and every kid Will love you more for what you did. The five basic types of figurative words/phrases Hyperbole - An exaggerating statement, emphasizes on emotion. Personification - giving an element, object or abstract idea human traits or qualities Metaphor - Linking what seems like completely unrelated stuff together using words like is. E.g. He is a lion. Simile - Same as metaphor, except it uses like, as (adjective) as. E.g. He is as brave as a lion. Symbolism - Using a representative figure to carry additional meaning. ::Examples from the Poem:: Hyperbole : 'Last week in someone's place we saw A dozen eyeballs on the floor' Of course, eyeballs do not pop out of their own accord even if you watch television constantly. It is just an exaggeration to emphasize on how damaging watching TV is. Personification : 'But did you ever stop to think, To wonder just exactly what This does to your beloved tot?' By doing this, Roald Dahl is implying that the television has consciousness and actually knows that it is damaging the children even though the television operates using electricity and is just doing what it is programmed to do. Metaphor : 'Until they're absolutely drunk With all that shocking ghastly junk.' Naturally, the children are not really drunk. It is just Roald Dahl's way of saying that the children are as good as drunk as they are watching television programs everyday. Simile : 'HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!' Notice the AS SOFT AS, just like I mentioned above, similes are the same as metaphors, just that they use as (adjective) as or like. For example, 'HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!' will be a metaphor if it is 'His brain is a piece of cheese!' but that does not make sense. So it becomes a simile to describe to the reader what is the similar characteristics the cheese and the brain share. Symbolism : Using this poem is Roald Dahl's not so subtle way of telling us that we should tear ourselves away from technology (the TV) and READ. In this poem, the TV is representing technology. Now, for the reasons why i just LOVE this poem. For starters, it is really, really funny and it is not hard to see that the word at the end of each sentence rhymes with the word in the next sentence, unlike some poems (cough, cough). It is also quite accurate, though there is a lot of exaggerating. Many people are immersed in the world of technology around us and it is now more important than ever that we read as often as we can.